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Having a freezer is a blessing, for lack of a better word. The climate is getting hotter, so how else are you supposed to cool off if not for a freezer accommodating all of your ice cream, ice cubes, and other glacial resources?

However, not everyone gets to enjoy freezers. And I am not talking about those who don’t own them. (Believe it or not, not every fridge has a freezer. Weird). I am talking about this one guy who has a freezer—in fact, he has more than one—but he keeps finding himself fighting over its real estate with the missus.

And it came to a point where he just had to share his frustrations with the Am I The A-Hole community.

Image credits: Colin and Sarah Northway (not the actual image)

So, meet 39-year-old husband and protagonist of the story, Reddit user u/BigDreamsSmall[Rooster]. Biggy recently went to Reddit’s Am I The A-Hole community to vent his frustrations, but also to figure out if he was wrong to stand his (frozen) ground and not allow his 32-year-old wife to take over his freezer.

You see, his wife has a bit of a habit of stocking up on frozen food. So much, in fact, that their regular freezer doesn’t seem like it has seen days that there wouldn’t be a buttload of food stored in it.

Image Credits: u/BigDreamsSmallC**k

OP did try to tackle the issue on multiple occasions and in various ways. Talking (loads of it) didn’t work. Buying a new fridge with a bigger freezer (that ended up netting him $4,000) only led to more food storage. And it doesn’t help that when he does find a free space to put a burrito in, his wife keeps nagging him about when he’s gonna eat it.

Well, he decided to approach the issue differently. He went ahead and got himself a personal freezer. More than enough space to store all the burritos a guy could ever want. Well, sure enough, the wife stumbled upon it sooner than later and it immediately became her grand quest to take over the frozen wasteland, ripe for the storing of frigid sustenance.

Image Credits: u/BigDreamsSmallC**k

Image credits: Ivan Radic (not the actual image)

However, the husband was having none of it and specifically asked her to back off from the freezer. She has hers, he has his, and that’s where it’ll stay. Nope. Several days later, it’s already 70% filled up with—yep, you guessed it—frozen foods. He did give her the benefit of the doubt and checked the other freezer. Nope, still as full as it can be.

Ok, no more Mr. Nice Guy. He grabs a garbage bag, dumps everything in it, and chucks it all.

Later that day, the missus returns with yet another fresh stack of frozen foods, ready to become a skyscraper of grub in the remaining 30% of hubby’s freezer. She immediately gets rejected when she finds a chain around the freezer and a padlock, making sure she doesn’t get her hands on the prime real estate inside.

Image Credits: u/BigDreamsSmallC**k

Image credits: Billie Grace Ward (not the actual image)

This set off a time bomb of fury, leading to a heated argument with OP. She claimed he was being controlling. He said there is no way in hell (even if it froze over) she’ll be using that freezer. She stormed out to stay with her mom. Later that day, she returned with an ultimatum to give her access within 24 hours.

Nothing happened after 24 hours. Except for OP’s post on Reddit, which asked if he was a jerk for all of this.

And the lovely AITA community had a lot to say about it. A key theme among them was that many thought his wife had some issues—a form of obsessive hoarding.

But besides all that, yes, OP is entitled to have space in the fridge. It’s a shared space, after all. So, his purchase of a freezer and the padlock are justified. Her anger, given the issue above, isn’t.

If anything, some pointed out that it is she who is being controlling with something that ought to be shared.

OP has addressed some of the other comments, namely all of those who missed the fact that yes, he did try to talk to her about it, talking was the first solution. It never worked, and it felt like his frustrations fell on deaf ears.

He did try to address the hoarding issue as well, but she doesn’t listen to reason and going to the therapist is out of the question. So, he’s at a dead end. This is in context of her threatening him with divorce over the freezer, by the way.

Whatever the case, his story got quite a bit of attention. The post garnered over 16,200 upvotes with a handful of Reddit awards and a truckload (about 2,000) of comments. All of this, you can check out in context here.

Or you can browse any of these fine articles we have, namely this one where the wife “ruined” her husband’s b-day by bolting mid-way, or this one where a guy almost became a dad but after finding out the truth had to distance himself, causing a feud in the family, or this one where a woman got kicked out of a resort by the family that bought her a vacation.

But before you run off, we’d love to hear from you—especially you, Tim—on what OP should do, or what he should not do, or who’s wrong, who’s right, and what is your best freezer story in the comment section below!

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Robertas, nicknamed the Comma Inquisitor by friends, is a Bored Panda writer and content creator. After his studies at LCC International University, where he got a BA in English Language and Literature, Robertas went on to do freelance teaching, translation, and copywriting work, primarily specializing in IT. He spent nearly three years writing about all things Wi-Fi, eventually being picked up by Bored Panda. Whenever there’s free time, he spends it playing Gwent, or hosting Dungeons & Dragons sessions for his mostly chaotic neutral team.

Hey! I'm a photo editor. In my free time, I love going to art galleries, exhibitions, concerts or just hanging out in nature with my friends. My dream is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog.

Dude, your wife needs help. Seriously needs help.

I agree. I have a spouse that loves to buy stuff but probably 3/4 is never used. Our house is starting to seem smaller every day. I think maybe it's hereditary because her brother was the exact same way.

First off, definitely seek professional help. Be patient but firm. If you're out shopping, bring a list and have her agree not to deviate from it, cancel Amazon if you have it, and pick a big savings goal. Like a vacation to someplace you've both always wanted to go. Whenever she's tempted to buy something you don't need, maybe suggest she redirects the impulse and put the funds in your savings for the trip. Get her excited about seeing the fund grow. Try to redirect that hoarding instinct to savings. But that being said, it will be an uphill battle and she will relapse but if she's willing to work on it, slowly but surely, it will get better.

Hoarding is learned, compulsive behavior, not genetic. Their parent or parents or someone influential in their lives was most likely a hoarder and they learned from them but it's a compulsive behavior. Try limiting spending until treatment can be initiated and become effective, because it takes time for behavior modification therapy to work.

Get a big shed before it's too late. This behavior will take years of therapy to remedy, if at all. Honestly the easiest and most practical way to deal with it is to just keep putting shipping containers in the yard.

My husband is a hoarder. Began with a collection that he kept neatly packed away, catalogued and everything. Then he got turned on the collecting toys. Soon there wasn't anywhere to walk. I can't get him to therapy about it - he thinks I'm the one with issues. The picture I've attached isn't the worst of it. comics-62c...ab09aa.jpg

Kathleen, I'm so sorry you have to live in a house filled with stuff. Maybe have a professional come to your house to get him to accept some help before you might walk away from all of that.

It's fascinating that she sees his behaviour are controlling, but fails to see her own actions as such. It happens so many times with controlling people. As soon as their partner stands up and says, "No, enough, I need to have a share too." the partner is labelled as demanding or manipulative.

My first thought was a mental issue. Gaslighting is a choice. Mental health is not. If she has narcissistic personality disorder, she may honestly believe her actions are to the total benefit of her family. Likewise, she may have borderline personality disorder, or such.

I wonder if she grew up really poor and is hoarding all the food now because she's scared to be without it?

I thought the same thing. She might have been hungry a lot and now has this issue. I kinda feel sorry for her. I hope she get's help (therapy).

He said she unwilling to go to therapy even if he physically carried her in there. Therefore I don't have any sympathy for her. She won't address the real problem and instead shes turning it around where HES controlling and that he's the problem. Not cool.

Don't a lot of addicts (hoarding in this instance) do that? Try to blame someone else so they don't have to deal with the problem. Like an alcoholic not going to AA because all the problems are the fault of others and the people at the meetings are idiots (You can tell I have heard this from a friend).

I am a recovering alcoholic and you are spot on. Nice thing is the people at meetings, or at least a sponsor, will call you on your bull because you can't bs a bs-er. Sorry you've had to experience this; it's a disease that literally changes the brain pathways and prioritizes alcohol above all else. When they're ready, they'll get help.

My friend got help after we (friends) cornered him and talked some sense into his brain. He is doing great now. I'm so proud of him. Powerful Musk Ox, I'm so proud of you too.. Well done. Hugs.

I've been hungry before and abused, and it drives me to use everything... my mom grew up in a terrible household, and was also a subject of abuse, but exhibits the same behavior described here... it's hard to know just how trauma may affect an individual.

Me too, but since she refuses to go to therapy, she is refusing to address it.

Thats the food insecurity that was mentioned. Happens a lot when people grew up without. They have a hard time eating their excess food because "what if I need it tomorrow?"

Dude, your wife needs help. Seriously needs help.

I agree. I have a spouse that loves to buy stuff but probably 3/4 is never used. Our house is starting to seem smaller every day. I think maybe it's hereditary because her brother was the exact same way.

First off, definitely seek professional help. Be patient but firm. If you're out shopping, bring a list and have her agree not to deviate from it, cancel Amazon if you have it, and pick a big savings goal. Like a vacation to someplace you've both always wanted to go. Whenever she's tempted to buy something you don't need, maybe suggest she redirects the impulse and put the funds in your savings for the trip. Get her excited about seeing the fund grow. Try to redirect that hoarding instinct to savings. But that being said, it will be an uphill battle and she will relapse but if she's willing to work on it, slowly but surely, it will get better.

Hoarding is learned, compulsive behavior, not genetic. Their parent or parents or someone influential in their lives was most likely a hoarder and they learned from them but it's a compulsive behavior. Try limiting spending until treatment can be initiated and become effective, because it takes time for behavior modification therapy to work.

Get a big shed before it's too late. This behavior will take years of therapy to remedy, if at all. Honestly the easiest and most practical way to deal with it is to just keep putting shipping containers in the yard.

My husband is a hoarder. Began with a collection that he kept neatly packed away, catalogued and everything. Then he got turned on the collecting toys. Soon there wasn't anywhere to walk. I can't get him to therapy about it - he thinks I'm the one with issues. The picture I've attached isn't the worst of it. comics-62c...ab09aa.jpg

Kathleen, I'm so sorry you have to live in a house filled with stuff. Maybe have a professional come to your house to get him to accept some help before you might walk away from all of that.

It's fascinating that she sees his behaviour are controlling, but fails to see her own actions as such. It happens so many times with controlling people. As soon as their partner stands up and says, "No, enough, I need to have a share too." the partner is labelled as demanding or manipulative.

My first thought was a mental issue. Gaslighting is a choice. Mental health is not. If she has narcissistic personality disorder, she may honestly believe her actions are to the total benefit of her family. Likewise, she may have borderline personality disorder, or such.

I wonder if she grew up really poor and is hoarding all the food now because she's scared to be without it?

I thought the same thing. She might have been hungry a lot and now has this issue. I kinda feel sorry for her. I hope she get's help (therapy).

He said she unwilling to go to therapy even if he physically carried her in there. Therefore I don't have any sympathy for her. She won't address the real problem and instead shes turning it around where HES controlling and that he's the problem. Not cool.

Don't a lot of addicts (hoarding in this instance) do that? Try to blame someone else so they don't have to deal with the problem. Like an alcoholic not going to AA because all the problems are the fault of others and the people at the meetings are idiots (You can tell I have heard this from a friend).

I am a recovering alcoholic and you are spot on. Nice thing is the people at meetings, or at least a sponsor, will call you on your bull because you can't bs a bs-er. Sorry you've had to experience this; it's a disease that literally changes the brain pathways and prioritizes alcohol above all else. When they're ready, they'll get help.

My friend got help after we (friends) cornered him and talked some sense into his brain. He is doing great now. I'm so proud of him. Powerful Musk Ox, I'm so proud of you too.. Well done. Hugs.

I've been hungry before and abused, and it drives me to use everything... my mom grew up in a terrible household, and was also a subject of abuse, but exhibits the same behavior described here... it's hard to know just how trauma may affect an individual.

Me too, but since she refuses to go to therapy, she is refusing to address it.

Thats the food insecurity that was mentioned. Happens a lot when people grew up without. They have a hard time eating their excess food because "what if I need it tomorrow?"

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